A letter to heaven

To my Angel,

      How time fly so fast. I can't imagine that 2 decades had passed since the day you went away. How are you doing there? I hope you are fine. I really miss you. I miss all the things that we do. I hope you are always praying for me. I am sorry I am not there to look for you but I know you can do it on your own, you are stronger than me. Remember that you are the one who taught me to be ardent in life. You taught me to be tough in facing every circumstances that will come through. You always say to me that living life is not easy but you have to be firm and always ask guidance to the Lord above and everything will flow continuously. Like the water in the river, sometimes you will encounter rocks that may cause you to feel struggled but at the end, the water will find its way to its ocean, freely and going along with the grain.

      There is no day, hour, nor minute that I don't think of you. I hope you are happy for me and my family. You said that if you're gone I should continue my life because you want me to love life the way you love it. And because I love you even though the first seconds of that day that I think of you will never coming back is like crashing my heart into pieces, my lungs cannot find its way to catch every breath I take, I still think of the last words you left me, "seize the day".

     I still remember your bewitching smile even though inside of you hurts. I wish I could take all the pain or at least the half of it because seeing you like that is already killing me. But as you said, everything happens for a reason. I come to the point of questioning God why he let this happen to us. You know before I know you I was at distant at God because he once took my love and then here you are saying that mom is happier with Him. But then again he took you away from me. Doesn't he love me? Why all of my loved ones? Why not the bastard criminals and corrupt officials?

       

      After of countless cries and lamenting, I learn to accept that you are now my angel and will always be. I know that God takes you because it will be like hell if he doesn't. There, there will be no pain, no more crying, nor suffering.

       

       There's always a place for you in my heart. You are one of my inspirations why I live. For as long as I exist, your memory will always remain. 

       When life gets too tough, I just look into the sky and think of you.