"Am I better of dead? Am I better of a quitter?" 

These are some lines that caught my attention and made me interested with the song "Nothing" by The Script. 

Have you experienced it? To love and be loved and suddenly things changed between the both of you unexpectedly. It's like you are cut by a knife. Deep inside you're bleeding but no one seems to notice because they were all blinded by the mask you're wearing. They might tell you that "It's okay. Everything's gonna be alright". Yes, very easy as it may seem but the hardest part is like this:

"I'll confess to her I'm still inlove but I heard was nothing. I wanted words but all I heard was nothing"

Can you still manage to hide the pain in instances like this? Well, the silence of a person can kill. It's like you want to explore what she felt and feels about you after you went your seperate ways. You want to know the answers to all your questions you have in your mind. You want to shout to her all your hurts but the hardest part is not even a single word came out of her mouth. The hardest part is that you know you couldn't live without her. Yes, how suicidal it is. Its like your taking your last step and last breath. She became the big part of your life.

I wish that life could be more easy. But the reality is that the more you deal with it, the more it will hurt. The more you remember everything about the two of you, the more she forgets about you. Moving on doesn't mean giving up. Sometimes, it's the best way to say "I love you but I want you to be happy". Letting go is hard. But believe me, time will come that you will forget all the pain. You will learn to forgive and forget. Just learn to deal with it. Do not even show your weakness and tears.

What would you do when you are hurt? Do you really need to cry out loud or just keep all your hurts inside you until suddenly you are barely breathing and feel like dying?

My heart is pumping fast. Am I still in reality? My eyes are filled with tears but no! I will not cry over you! I can still manage to smile to cover up my broken heart. No one even notice the sadness you made, and no one will. They will not even feel the pain you caused me. I'm crying inside and damn! No one could hear it! My heart is dying. Maybe I need you to ease the pain but no, I must learn how to forget you. The things we shared, the way I held you in my arms, the way we kissed and everything about you. I don't know if I will be able to manage the pain. I can't even eat and sleep. I want to shout my hurts but I can't because they all know that I'm strong and no one could ever turn me down.

Now that I'm alone I cry myself to death until it will not hurt anymore. My fist is shaking. I don't think if I can make another night living. This is my last goodbye. I might end up living happily, or you will just blame yourself tomorrow. Goodbye

Some people love rain and for some they don't.  Where do I belong? I hate it when I'm alone.

When I am sad and it is raining I feel like the sky is cying with me. I feel the loneliness it brings. Every rain drop seems to be the every hurt it feels. The thunderstorm symbolizes how lonesome he is, how angry he is to what is happening around him. The more it pour water from the sky the more I can't stop my tears from falling. I hate and love rain when I'm sad. The rain drops cover my tears and I hate it because the ambiance brings melancholy. 

The darkness it brings make me think of the misery that I've been going through. The sound of rain dropping on the roof of the house is the only sound that breaks the silence in my heart. I feel despondent in every fall of the rain. It makes me more downcast when I'm depressed. 

I hate it when its raining and I'm in despair. I am scared with the thunderstorm and no one is there to comfort me from its fearful quaking sound as if it is tearing the sky into pieces. I feel so alone when raining. I remember the nights when his arms are covering me from the crashing sound and from the lightning as if it will strike directly at me.  And then I will realize that I'm on my own now and nobody will care for me and will cover arms to secure me. 

But as what they say, the sun will come out after the rain. Everything will be fine. Everything will fall into perfect place again. The missing puzzle piece will be placed on the right position. The picture will be complete again. 

For you, does rain give you joy or sorrow? 

To my Angel,

      How time fly so fast. I can't imagine that 2 decades had passed since the day you went away. How are you doing there? I hope you are fine. I really miss you. I miss all the things that we do. I hope you are always praying for me. I am sorry I am not there to look for you but I know you can do it on your own, you are stronger than me. Remember that you are the one who taught me to be ardent in life. You taught me to be tough in facing every circumstances that will come through. You always say to me that living life is not easy but you have to be firm and always ask guidance to the Lord above and everything will flow continuously. Like the water in the river, sometimes you will encounter rocks that may cause you to feel struggled but at the end, the water will find its way to its ocean, freely and going along with the grain.

      There is no day, hour, nor minute that I don't think of you. I hope you are happy for me and my family. You said that if you're gone I should continue my life because you want me to love life the way you love it. And because I love you even though the first seconds of that day that I think of you will never coming back is like crashing my heart into pieces, my lungs cannot find its way to catch every breath I take, I still think of the last words you left me, "seize the day".

     I still remember your bewitching smile even though inside of you hurts. I wish I could take all the pain or at least the half of it because seeing you like that is already killing me. But as you said, everything happens for a reason. I come to the point of questioning God why he let this happen to us. You know before I know you I was at distant at God because he once took my love and then here you are saying that mom is happier with Him. But then again he took you away from me. Doesn't he love me? Why all of my loved ones? Why not the bastard criminals and corrupt officials?

       

      After of countless cries and lamenting, I learn to accept that you are now my angel and will always be. I know that God takes you because it will be like hell if he doesn't. There, there will be no pain, no more crying, nor suffering.

       

       There's always a place for you in my heart. You are one of my inspirations why I live. For as long as I exist, your memory will always remain. 

       When life gets too tough, I just look into the sky and think of you.

My Virgo, you know I can't resist you
Happiness is there even if the sky isn't blue
I know it may sound cliche
But really there are words I can't barely say




You know how much I love you
Though sometimes we have different hue
Sometimes in red, sometimes in blue
But no matter what, I stayed with you




Red is Cupid and Haides
Fiery in love or hate
Passionate kisses in the morning
Bloody fist in the evening















Blue is serenity and depression
Soltitude and peace may arise
But  when the storm comes
The feeling is aloof and ambigous

Green is trust and jealousy
If you love you should have faith baby
Suspiciously or solicitously
Envy should not receive victory






Yellow is hope and cowardice
You must believe that it will work out nice
Do not be afraid of the upcomings sweety
For I will always be right next to you sneaky

Violet is inspiration and immaturity
Your childishness motivates me
To explore life and live to the fullest
To indulge ourselves to the best.







Every color has a meaning and one color may signify a meaning or more. Just like in love, everyday may not be merry for sometimes you may feel like worry. Life is like riding in a roller coaster or Ferris wheel, sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down. But what matters most is that you enjoy every ups and downs and the in betweens. Let the butterflies stay in your stomach and appreciate the unexplainable feeling for you do not know if you will experience it once more.

Value the ones who loves you and do not take them for granted. Show them that you care before it's too late. Do not let your doubts conquer you. Just have faith and hope that there will always be the one up there, who will guide you in every decision that you will do.

What is heavier, a kilo of nail or a kilo of cotton? 

They have the same weight right? One is equal to one no matter what the thing is being weighted. 

What's the difference between stealing millions or billions of pesos in the society's fund and stealing your neighbor's cellphone? Nothing! Because the point is the act of stealing. 

The one who got caught stealing in a drug store  was sent into jail. He was asked why he did that and he said he did not have a choice because his child was dying and was needing the medicine but unfortunately they did not have money to buy it so he stole the drug to save his son's life but still he needs to face the consequence of his action no matter how good the intention was. He was with the ones who killed barbarously and all the criminals that you could ever imagine.  

He was being punished according to what he had done. So here's my point, what is the difference between those criminals and the senators who both did the same mistake? Why are those senators receiving this kind of "special treatment"? They are all accused of enriching themselves through kickbacks from their ghost projects under the Priority Development Assistance Fund (PDAF).

Are they being accomodated much more than the other inmates at the Camp Crame? Why should they be separated from the other inmates? Should they be jailed in ordinary cells along with the others?

As what I have said, no matter how big or small it is, how good or bad the intension is, a sin will always be a sin and all sins are punishable by the law of human and law of God. 

We have laws so that we can have orderliness in the society and whoever disobeys the law must received proper punishment regardless of the position you have in the society. 

“Laws are spider webs through which the big flies pass and the little ones get caught.” ― Honoré de Balzac